a new chapter begins

Yesterday, September 30, I officially ended 27 years of working for the Federal government. I started in 1998 as a technical writer for the U.S. Census Bureau, then became a business manager for the Department of Commerce from 2001-2007.

I then joined the Federal Railroad Administration (part of the Department of Transportation), where, for most of my tenure, I coordinated the Railroad Safety Advisory Committee (RSAC), a collaborative effort among the major stakeholders (government, private industry, labor unions, and others) in railroad safety.* I also served as the liaison to the National Safety Transportation Board (NTSB) for addressing safety recommendations assigned to FRA.

*RSAC was shuttered in August of this year after being in existence since 1996

I enjoyed my time working with FRA, and with many of the great people there, but truth be told, for the last few years, I had been feeling the itch to move on. So, back in April, when DOT offered the Deferred Resignation Program, coupled with voluntary early retirements, I jumped at the chance. My last day in the office came two weeks later.

Unlike some retirees, I have not regretted a single moment. I do not miss getting up before dawn to commute to work, I do not miss the tedious bureaucracy, and I love the freedom of making my own schedule each day. Some retirees are bored: not me. The days fly by. I’ve dedicated myself to my lifelong dream of being a full-time author; currently, I’m drafting up a fantasy roleplaying game.

I’m getting repairs and upgrades done around the house, and my mental and physical health have improved. I have a pension and a 401k, and my wife Joni is still working, so money shouldn’t be an issue.

In the weeks and months after I went on administrative leave, it felt odd not to check and send emails, or to work on RSAC or NTSB safety recs. Now that I’ve officially left government service, and everything is final, it feels even more strange. It’s akin to when I graduated college, or when my wife and I moved out of our first home.

Something that had been a part of my life for so long–18 years, the longest I had ever been with an organization–and had been so important to me, is done. Matters that consumed my hours, days, months, and years either went away when RSAC did, or are now someone else’s concern.

It’s over, and it feels like it ended very quickly. There’s no going back.

Furthermore, it marks an end to 40 years of working for someone, somewhere. For the first time since I was a teenager, I don’t have a job, and I don’t need one. It’s a moment I’ve been looking forward to for decades, but now that it’s here, it still doesn’t seem quite real.

But I suppose it will, eventually, just as it eventually felt “real” when I stopped going to classes at the University of Maryland, or stopped driving home to my old address in Greenbelt. Eventually, this new aspect of life will stop feeling different, and become normal.

So, thank you to my colleagues at FRA, whether they’re still there, or left yesterday or long ago, for many great years of doing great work together. Special thanks to Dorbi Sullivan, who brought Young Inexperienced Me, not much older than 30, into the Census Bureau, and then called me to up to join her at Commerce. You literally changed my life–and the lives of my family–for the better. Thank you for believing in me, and giving me a chance.

And now, it’s on to a new chapter of life. I’m excited to see what happens next.

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Kenton Kilgore writes books for kids, young adults, and adults who are still young. Follow Kenton on Facebook for frequent posts on sci-fi, fantasy, and other speculative fiction. You can also catch him on Instagram.